The new year is another month old. Where in the first two weeks of January the question was asked “And, good intentions?” You’re not hearing anything again now. Strange actually. Because those good intentions were they made for nothing? Was that just what was called without really having the intention to achieve those goals?
No, I do not want to say so pessimistically. I believe those good goals are made genuine. That people really wanted to change things, would like to change their minds, change their minds.
Unfortunately, good intentions are often doomed to fail. Yes, really, most good intentions are not met. Only 9% (!!!) get more or less (!!!) the good intentions, according to research. Indeed, within a month, almost half of the good intentions are still in the rough soil, at the end of the year most of us are back at work or they are worse off.
That explains why you hear no one more about those good intentions …
But it can be done differently. If one finds out why most good intentions are doomed to fail, then one can defend themselves against those pitfalls. Then one can add to those 9% who know the good intentions. Then this year, one can really make a change in his or her own life, to really take it differently.
And is not there a nice job for HR? Because HR is ideally the department within an organization that helps people grow, helps develop, helps to get on?
If you share the pitfalls in your organization, I’m convinced that you can help people here. Enter the conversation with them. Make them aware of the pitfalls, helping them prevent them from getting into those pitfalls. In addition to achieving the goals, it provides a lot of positive energy, pride and self-confidence. And that seems to me to be a nice job for HR to contribute to it.
You are little concrete
I’m going to live healthier! Top, very nice. But I already know that this will not work you. Because what is ‘healthier life’? How are you going to do that? What will you do then? And when and how often? The more vague your intention is, the harder it is to keep it up. Because what are you actually doing? And when do you know if you succeeded? Just as vague is “I’m going to accomplish my dream job!”. Sounds like music in the ears of course. But if you do not know what your dream job looks like, what exactly will you accomplish?
>>> Make sure that you express your intention as concretely as possible. What, when, where, how often, how long, how, with whom, etc. etc. The more concrete, the better!
You lead to the false-head syndrome
Peter Herman, Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto, calls this a “false-hop syndrome.” “People fail because they make unrealistic goals.” Too fast, too much, too often, too ambitious, too difficult, too. Yes, for another it’s clear that it’s absolutely unrealistic to expect that if you have not been in the gym for the past year, you suddenly have at least 5 times a week in the Devices will hang out. And how much you might like that, if you are very honest to yourself, you know that is not feasible.
So a concrete but unrealistic intention is not going to make any progress. All the days of the week eat healthy? What do you think about setting 4 days a week? That means that you will not be discouraged immediately if one day has not succeeded, you can still get your plans!
>>> A concrete and realistic intention must be!
You are blind to your ultimate goal
“At the end of the year I lost 5 kilos.” Or “At the end of the year I have my dream job like … (Do you already know what to do on the dotted lines?) In the pocket”. Sounds beautiful, is even more concrete and maybe even realistic. But if you only focus on the final goal, then there is a chance that you will succeed. Though the chance is that you wake up in October and you realize that you only have 3 months to go. And then, achieving your intention suddenly becomes a lot less realistic …
Much better is to cut that final goal into small sub-goals where you have a very concrete (yes, there’s a deadline). What do you have to do to lose those 5 kilos or score that dream job? And when will you do it then?
>>> Connect concrete and achievable sub-goals to your good intention, with deadline!
You do not celebrate your successes
We are often much more focused on what (not) succeeded or achieved than the steps we have already taken. We are often really strict to ourselves and are primarily punishing ourselves or giving ourselves the head because we are not yet where we want to be. And of course, that does not motivate for a meter, I do not have to explain that.
How nice it is, therefore, if you have formulated concrete, realistic sub-goals. After all, when you have a sub goal, you have something to celebrate, so you know when you have something to celebrate!
>>> Love yourself, see what steps you’ve taken, give yourself a compliment or even a present. Because that motivates!
You give up too fast
Does it match? And give up immediately? Yes, do you fool that’s not possible! Research shows that anyone who knows her good intentions for 3 months is usually also able to do that for the rest of the year.
>>> So keep at least three months full!
You keep your good intentions good to yourself
Hearty safe of course. For as long as no one knows your good intention, nobody will burst out on December 31 and point to you with a finger. “Haha, you’re also one who has no good intentions to know! “.
But there is no one who can serve as a stick behind the door. That can encourage you with the ambitious (but realistic!) Steps you are taking. That can give you a compliment if you forget about it yourself. And who can help you if you do not see it anymore.
It may be nice, but it’s a bit stupid to keep your good intentions for yourself. If you share good intentions with someone who wants that too, it will be fun! Because then you can help and support each other.
>>> Share your good intentions and make sure you have people around you who support you.
You do not have a backup plan
Let’s, yes, be realistic. You will not always succeed in achieving any sub goal. It will not work as you plan now. That’s how life is right now. If you’re not prepared and do not have Plan B behind you, unexpected events will surprise you. Then they will take you off, they will take you off your path and discourage you.
Because all you know is that it will be different from what you think now, so you can make a backup plan. What will you do if you get discouraged if it does not matter? Then you do not overdo it and know what to do.